The Dark of Battle

Having moved to Battle four years ago from East London I was immediately struck by the existence of darkness. Real darkness. This is a double-edged sword, with the joy of seeing the Milky Way tempered by a fear of being run over on Netherfield Hill, when returning home in the ‘wee hours’ from a social gathering in the town.

One of my earliest observations of Battle is that it appears to be inhabited by hordes of ‘cat-burglars’, spies and the man from the ‘Milk Tray’ adverts of the 1960s. I draw this conclusion from driving after dark, when I frequently catch one or two of these fleeting black-clad figures in my headlights. They are the lucky ones, as it seems almost inevitable that one day one of them will see their luck run out and they can expect a permanent rendezvous with an even better known black clad figure – brandishing a scythe.

During my Black Battle induction period I quickly discovered the simple expedient of wearing a ‘hi-viz’ vest and carrying a torch at night time. This has served me well up until now, although the lack of a pedestrian footway along Netherfield Road and Netherfield Hill means even brightly clad pedestrians such as I, risk life and limb during every excursion into town – day or night.

Our darkly clad night time walkers appear to labour under the illogical assumption that if they can see a car coming, then surely the driver of the car can see them also. This erroneous assumption is effectively the reverse of an ostrich putting his head in the sand. Even more surprising is the probability that most of these black clad pedestrians are themselves drivers and will have had a close encounter with one of their pedestrian-selves on numerous occasions.

Perhaps older residents are too set in their ways to change their walking habits and wear something white, or carry a torch. However, wherever possible we have to do our level best to encourage the younger generation to make themselves more ‘hi-viz’. However, anyone who has shared a house with a teenager knows how belligerent they can be. How do you get a ‘Goth’ to wear something white? One simple solution might be to buy them a black leather jacket emblazoned with a flashing skull and crossbones on the back. After all, to my knowledge no member of the Battle Chapter of The Hells Angels has ever been the pedestrian victim of a night-time road traffic accident.