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A RATHER DISMISSIVE GOODBYE: So here is 2017, being welcomed in like a brand new friend, sat down in the lounge with the best china [and possibly Champagne], while 2016 gets left behind in the kitchen, drinking out of a chipped mug, with only the dog for company. We are so dismissive of the old year, Glad to see the back of it. Poor old 2016 is like a rind of stale cheese that’s been hanging around hoping for one last grate over a Welsh rarebit. What a way to treat a stalwart, who has stuck by us for 365 days. However, 2016 is having the last laugh, already preparing to go down in history [ proud of it’s antiquity] while we fumble around forgetting to write 2017 on the cheque book, thinking up New Year’s resolutions, trying to lose 20 pounds after the Christmas excess, and having the usual ghastly job of chopping up the parson’s nose for the cat. We are left with only and the prospect of the January sales, and the Thomas Cook adverts. So let’s wave goodbye to 2016 with some measure of manners. It’s given us joy, sorrow, frustration and perks, in equal measure. Let’s hope that 2017 is just pure joy!

IDEN AND DISTRICT NATURAL HISTORY SOCIETY: There will be a meeting on January 13th, in Iden village hall, at 7.30 pm. The lecture will be’ Beachcombing In The South-East, Searching For The Sea Bean., by Andy Dinsdale.

A COMBINED SERVICE: There will be a combined Church service, at Iden Parish Church on Sunday [ January 1st], to mark the new year. Following the service, the congregation can raise a glass to the New Year in the Old Hall. MY TURKEY IS APPARENTLY UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT: This year I bought an extra, extra large turkey, which did two roast dinners, a pot-luck supper, turkey sandwiches, and sliced up with ham, and bubble and squeak. My husband though, waltzed into the kitchen at the defrosting stage, and wearing his glasses, scrutinised it and decided to be in charge of turkey cooking times. You have to understand that this turkey was already my new best friend [we were practically swapping lipsticks!] “I think I can manage”, I said [frostily]” I’ve been cooking a turkey for 48 years. [people have been put behind bars for less interference]. If I dare to lay the fire, he gets most put out “ hold on , who’s the hunter gatherer around here”, he’ll say [so you see where I’m coming from.]. Anyway, he did lift it in and out of the oven [the thing was like Mike Tyson] I couldn’t lift it [ not unless I was to spend Christmas flat on my back, smothered in ‘Deep Heat’] One joint New Year’s resolution should maybe be ‘to be less possessive about turkey and firewood!

I WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR

CONTACT ME: If anyone has anything to add to the Village Voice, please ring Gill Griffin [telephone 01797-280-311]

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