My name is Miss L. Frog (the L stands for Lonesome) and I live in a pond in the garden of house in Glengorse, Battle. In the early Spring of each year I labour to produce lots of froggey spawn, but because no friendly boy frog hops this way I haven’t a tadpole to my name. I am therefore frantically hoping that a jolly, handsome frog, interested in a basin full of conjugal love, will see this letter (I understand you have some frog readers) and join me in this very desirable, pleasantly situated pond residence. Of course, if any non-frog reader happens to know the whereabouts of such a frog, and directs him my way, I would be eternally grateful. I remain, Yours hopefully, Miss L. Frog, The Pond, c/o Mr & Mrs J. Hill, 7,Glengorse, Battle, TN33 0Lj.