As I was Santa’s little helper at the reins of the Nissan Qashqai seen driving Father Christmas from Sedlescombe Village Hall recently, I feel I can answer the questions posed by John Beck in his letter in your December 23 issue. Mr Beck asked:
1. Is Santa moving into the modern world?
Answer: Santa has always kept up with the times although, admittedly, he has found it difficult in recent years keeping track of new technology... So if anyone out there’s got a sack of kindling, rather than the Kindle they wanted, please forgive him.
2. Why did Santa choose a Japanese car?
Answer: Because he likes a car built at the UK’s largest car plant, even if it is in Sunderland.
True, he would have preferred a Jaguar or Land Rover but, as they are Indian owned and he is still sore about the recent Test series defeat, he ruled them out.
3. Should Mr Beck get an appointment with an optician?
Answer: If you can still believe your eyes when you see Santa, there’s nothing wrong with your vision.
4. Should Mr Beck drink less beer?
Answer: No! There is never a good reason for drinking less beer, unless you’re moving on to spirits... Or unless, of course, you’re at the reins of a Nissan Qashqai driving Santa around.
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