Keith Pollard, Brookfield, Broadway

In church this Sunday, October 6… It’s the Harvest Festival at St Andrews at 10.30 am, with the service being followed by a Faith Lunch in St Peters as previously mentioned in Village Voice. You’re a bit late now, but have a word with Kath Barron on 812799 just in case there’s a space left. Later in the day, at 6 pm in fact, there is an Informal Communion service at St Peters.

Players’ Murder Mystery… and not forgetting the Supper, is next Saturday, October 12 at 7 for 7.30 pm. It’s £9 a head, and there will be a licensed bar to help your deliberations. At rehearsals, the cast couldn’t decide whodunit. Can you? The Post Office has the tickets, or Carol, on 814178, can take your booking. The tickets are selling slightly slower than hot cakes, but the organisers anticipate a possible sell-out, as was the case last October.

By the time we get to the murder, it will be time to get your tickets for Prescription for Murder, the players’ November offering, which will be at the village hall from Thursday 7 to Saturday 9 at 7.30 pm each evening, and a 2.30 pm matinee on the Saturday as well. Roland Garrad is directing Norman Robbins’ thriller.

The Village Choir… will be entertaining all comers at Pett Parish Church on Sunday, October 13 at 3.30 in the afternoon. Your opportunity to hear some good singing, while supporting Farm Africa, a further worthy charity fully deserving of our help. A pleasant afternoon in store, then.

Positively your last chance… to book your place to see and hear Valerie Tryon, the concert pianist whose recital captivated all who went to St Andrews Church to hear her in July, when she will be playing the Grieg Piano Concerto with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra in November. The actual date is November 27, at 7.30 pm at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon. The coach will leave the Circle at 5 pm, and the cost of an excellent ticket plus travel is £45. Music by Ravel precedes Valerie, with a Tchaikovsky Symphony to follow, in a two hour programme. Only one or two more bookings will ensure the trip can go ahead, and those interested should ring Geoff Wyatt on 813300 for further details. The absolute deadline for this special outing has been extended by one week, and is now Monday next, October 7

Wildflower Verge signs… have been obtained by Councillors Tony King and Jennifer Annetts, who plan to put some on Wood Field, and also on a suitable verge, the location of which they are to decided. Council Chairman Andrew Mier hopes the flowers can read, to appreciate their designated ‘homes’. I say it’s back to the late sixties on Wood Field, where we are sure to get some flowers in our hare.

Christian Aid Coffee Morning… coming up at St Peters, from 10 am to 12 noon on Saturday, October 12. Supporters of Fair Trade will have ample opportunity to buy goods from a well-stocked Traidcraft stall, and the ever popular cake, bric-a-brac and book stalls will also feature. There will of course be refreshments and a raffle. Following the fantastic support given by our village during Christian Aid week earlier this year, this is a further chance to support a good cause.

St Andrews Autumn Fair… will be following hard on the heels of the Church Coffee Morning next Saturday with their appearance in the village hall on Saturday 19 from 11.30 am to 3 pm. Stalls, refreshments, including hot food from midday, plus a raffle and free admittance will all be generating profits for the benefit of St Andrews.

The latest Gardening Club talk… is on Monday next, October 7, at 2.30 pm in the village hall. If you’d like to learn about Hanging Baskets and Planters for winter, the afternoon consists of a demonstration by Wendy Bates from Rotherview Nursery. She will also have plants for sale. Wendy is an experienced and excellent speaker, who has entertained and informed the club previously.

King’s seed catalogues are now available in the Trading Hut. You can order top quality seeds at wholesale prices - but your order must be in by Saturday, October 26, which is the last day the Hut opens this year. So pop down to the trading hut on Saturday between 10 am and noon to collect your copy of the catalogue.

Who Do They Think They Are…? Following complaints about the poor television reception in the village, John Edmunds, Clerk to the Parish Council, wrote to the BBC on behalf of the residents, as the BBC is the body responsible for your signal. His letter was a follow up to one sent in February and he received a reply astonishing in its arrogance, rudeness and dismissive finality. Perhaps we should not be surprised, given that his supreme boss is one of the most arrogant, incompetent men ever to draw breath. In view of the lack of concern for you as residents, it is suggested that you write individually in order that they can see the extent of the issues. Write to Mr James Kelly, BBC Audience Services, PO Box 1922, Darlington, DL3 0UR. The more people who complain, the more likely is it that something will get done! That rude BBC letter is being referred to Amber Rudd MP.

Welcome back to the Literary Society… whose winter/spring programme commences on Wednesday next, October 9 at 2.30 pm in the village hall. The first talk is by the well-known Ken Brooks, and will be all about The Tomb of Tutankhamun. The Society’s meetings are booked for every other Wednesday, and we shall be reminding in advance you of the content of each so you don’t miss your favourite. Visitors are welcome at £2 per visit, though it makes sound economic sense to become a member and pay £7 for the year’s eleven meetings plus the AGM and members’ tea. If you have any enquiry about the Society, please call either 814037 or 812563

The Tuesday Ladies Club… at their September meeting, enjoyed a performance (it has to be called that and not described as a mere ‘talk’) by an accomplished actress called Judith Kinnison Bourke. Judith dressed up as a workhouse girl and told the story of Dorothy, who was sent to Tenterden Workhouse, there to endure the awful conditions and rules of such places. The members could believe Judith was Dorothy, and towards the end of her session she explained that Dorothy had written a book about her experiences and that Judith had met her and they had become friends. The afternoon was a real tour de force and an eye-opener. Judith specialises in other subjects too, and she will certainly be invited to return.

October’s meeting, on the fifteenth, will be totally different as it will feature Edinburgh Woollen Mills doing a fashion show with a supply of goods for sale (provided they have some left following their visit to MOPPs). This should be great fun and visitors will be very welcome at £2 including tea and cakes. The meeting starts at 2.15pm.

Happy Birthday, MOPPs…! Today they’ll be celebrating the organisation’s fifth birthday, with a lunch consisting of roast pork followed by cheesecake. Next week, on October 11, they have a visit from our MP Amber Rudd, while the lunch on offer is ham, egg & chips, with spotted dick for afters. Today being their fifth birthday, it is an excellent time to mention that, at the recent Parish Council meeting, it was agreed to make a grant of £1,000 to MOPPs.

Dead Hearts of Oak… There is a large but very dead oak on the left as you go down Lower Waites Lane, and the Parish Council has reported the matter, not for the first time, to the landowners, with copies to Highways, the Rother Trees Officer, BT and the electric cable provider. The Council says you will be pleased to note that the dead tree can now be clearly seen from space, (along with the Great Wall of China) courtesy of Google Earth. However, the Council is determined not to be hoist with their own petard (they haven’t budgeted for a petard) and will now conduct a safety survey of their bit of Knowle Wood.

What a load of rubbish… or, as the Parish Council points out, recycling assets. Cllr Roger Bird reported that we shall all soon receive a leaflet in the post about the new collection arrangements. You will be asked whether you require a brown wheelie bin for your garden waste. You’ll have to make up your mind quickly and if you decide it’s a yes from you, you’ll be contractually bound to pay £25 for the year. The probability is that the green bins will become receptacles for cardboard, but wait until you get that letter. Which you can then bin…

Those panto auditions… have taken place, and as soon as they have decided who will be who, and done all the permutations, we’ll let you have the details, together with dates when they are available.

Studio TN35… had a successful exhibition of paintings, pottery and jewellery over the last two Saturdays and Sundays in the village hall and, having opened their show concurrently with our Macmillan Coffee Morning, they donated a percentage of the items sold, following up with the teas, coffees, and refreshment monies from all four sessions going to the major national appeal. They are talking of becoming more closely involved with the Open Studio sessions next year, which should mean their obtaining a higher number of potential customers through the doors. And why not – there’s some excellent stuff on show.

Did you wear your Shades (of Grey)… while reading the shocking (?!) news from Trumpington Village Hall in Cambridgeshire, where they had bookings for Relationship Support meetings, which turned out to be bondage, spanking and flogging classes and activities. Woe betide anyone signing up for ‘caning’, hoping to learn how to renovate the seat of their dressing table stool – they’d probably end up bent over it. Is this something we would like to see in our village? The money side would present no problems – the hiring fees would be paid with a quick whip-round. If the idea takes off, dumbs down and mushrooms, we shall soon be able to purchase all our S & M needs at M & S.