In our churches this Sunday… April 27, called Low Sunday in contrast to the High Sunday of Easter Day, there will be a service of Morning Praise at St Andrew’s at 10.30 am, with Informal Communion at 6 pm at St Peter’s.

In addition to hoping for your attendance at Morning Praise, St Andrew’s would also like to see a volunteer for the position of Churchwarden. At the recent Fairlight Annual Parochial Church Meeting Marcia Russell was the only nomination for churchwarden and she was duly appointed. Clearly, this places too much stress and responsibility unfairly on one individual, so the powers that be are very keen to identify another person who would be willing to take on the role for the next 12 months and work with Marcia. The aim is to delegate the work with the help of the two deputy wardens.

Be warned! Messy Church begins on Wednesday, May 7 from 4.30 to 6 pm, in the village hall small hall, which has just worn out the letter ‘l’ on my keyboard. It would be appreciated if readers could save the following for use at Messy Church and place in the designated box at St Andrew’s: weekend colour supplements, white backed wallpaper rolls, yoghurt pots, ice-cream cartons (as large as possible), wool, felt, fabric off-cuts, ribbons and trimmings, buttons and much more! Wot? No sticky-backed plastic?

Up and running… is the Players’ production of Holiday Snap. Some of the £6 tickets are still available at the Post Office for the three remaining performances, tonight, Friday, and tomorrow, Saturday, at 7.30 pm, with a matinée at 2.30 pm tomorrow, too. A licensed bar is there at the evening performances for your added enjoyment.

At MOPPs today… the entertainment is by Mad Jack’s Morris Dancers, with a lunch consisting of Roast Beef followed by bananas and custard. Next Friday, May 2, there will be Cottage Pie and then fruit flan, though I’m not sure what entertainment is on offer. There are a few vacancies, which you would be welcome to fill. Not least because this excellent group has a new co-ordinator in Robert Pasterfield, a man of considerable experience. Robert is on 07860 414277, and his email address is rpasterfield@aol.com

The Wine and Social Club have had their AGM … at which there were two administrative changes, one of which saw Roger Chisholm-Batten replace Peter Norris, who had expressed the wish to retire as Treasurer, and the other has David Lucas joining the Committee on the departure of Terry Mosley. A good group, this, which has some membership vacancies, so get in there!

You may think Lady Day is March 25… but there’s another Lady’s Day – at Lingfield Park Race Course on Friday, May 9, inviting the fairer sex to have flutter on the horses with a flutter of the eyelashes. Margaret Pulfer, who can be reached on 814866, is the one to contact if you’d like to go on the coach, which will depart Fairlight Circle at 12 noon to arrive for the first race at 2 pm, and returning after the 5.30 pm. The trip cost, including entry, is £26, which does not include what you may wish to contribute to the on-course bookies.

The Art Club Exhibition and Wine & Cheese evening… which is deservedly always very well supported, is coming up on Saturday, May 10 at the village hall from 6 to 9 pm. Tickets are available from the Post Office, or by calling 813833, and they are £4 each. You could always pay on the door, of course, but this will cost you £5. Either way, you get a free glass of wine. The standard of works on display is usually quite outstanding, most particularly to one whose stick men and houses would get him drummed out of a Primary School Art class. Most of the work on display is available to purchase, at prices that cannot be described as exorbitant.

Fairfest’s Vegas Night… is on Friday, May 16 at 7.30 pm in the village hall, and it promises to be a fun night out, with professionally run tables. Naturally, there’ll be a bar and a buffet with the added attraction of a magician entertaining you at your table. When you arrive you will be given tokens to use at the tables – no real money will be involved. Except, of course, for the £7.50 which you will pay for your ticket. This you can do at the Post Office, or by calling Jennifer Annetts on 812476, Margaret Pulfer on 814866, Terry Mosley on 812144 or Wendy Hatch on 812297 - or any Fairfest Committee Member. The dress code is Evening Dress or smart casual, though green eyeshades are not obligatory.

A heartfelt plea for the resumption of Pilates in the village… has fallen on appreciative ears, as Annie Cuthbert, who already undertakes many classes locally and is willing to adapt to whatever levels people are on, has agreed to do a taster session in the village hall on Saturday, May 17 from 10 to 11 am. To ensure that Annie is convinced Fairlight and Pilates is a good mix, as many interested people as possible should endeavour to be there. You should take your own mat, wear comfortable clothing and take a small cushion, or towel you can roll up. I expect aficionados already know all this, and have their equipment, and stiff backs, ready and waiting.

The Tuesday Ladies Club… enjoyed a very informative, but light-hearted, afternoon with Liz Brooker, the originator of the First Responder scheme as far as we in Fairlight are concerned. Not only did she demonstrate how to use the defibrillator, but also how to administer first aid for a variety of accidents and emergencies. Liz followed her talk with a quiz on first aid, which was not at all easy. Joan Glastonbury was the winner with a fantastic score.

The club’s summer outing will be on June 24, which is a Tuesday of course, to Ruxley Manor, near Sidcup. This is a garden centre now 50 years of age and also features various concessions on the site. If anybody would care to go on the trip, it will cost £8; Mary Stewart, on 813031, has all the details.

The TLC’s May meeting will feature that excellent speaker, Graham Albon, who this time will be going ‘Coast to Coast in Costa Rica’. Visitors are very welcome at £2, a price which includes tea and cakes. As ever, the meeting starts at 2.15 pm in the village hall.

Another AGM which should interest you… is that of our efficiently-run village hall, packed with multifarious engagements each week. The meeting will be along in short order on Monday next, April 28 at 7.30 pm. The usual affiliated representatives are expected to be present for this meeting, and rightly so.

Easter in Eastbourne… we were a little premature last week in predicting the early, safe return home of Carol Ardley, who found herself needing a further test as Easter approached, when apparently the exigencies of the Bank Holiday weekend trumped all other considerations, and she has been on hold. Of course, it is as well to be as sure as possible. ‘Ah!’ you may say, ‘that’s the NHS for you.’ ‘Not so’ say I. After feeling a little shaky on my feet for three days, on Maundy Thursday night I awoke with the alcohol-free room spinning and some wretched retching. At eightish, my wife called 111 and, after comprehensive questions, the fellow called in the Paramedics. Thoroughly, Dave, (who only an idiot, me, could think was called Colin,) and Andy, examined me and took me to the Conquest A & E by 8.15 am. I was tested, injected, given pills, x-rayed and put on a drip. In a short span of time, eight people attended to me, including the Doctor. I can only recall Jason, Laura and Jim, I’m afraid. My lunch order was taken and delivered but, unfortunately I had to move to a chair which had increased my nausea. At 12.15 pm the Doctor told me her diagnosis and confirmed that I could go home. And all this on Good Friday. Oft maligned, the Conquest was superb.

And at last, three cheers for the Highways Department… for their work on the A259 around the outside of the Hastings Academy. Not only for the apparently meticulous execution of the work, but for the sensible and sensitive evening timing, too. If only it lasts better than the short-lived Fairlight Road top dressing, we shall all be happy.

It’s pleasing to be able to announce that Southern Water, or maybe Kier, have a new depot in which to store their surplus Road Narrows signs, Traffic Priority signs, sandbags to hold them down, cones to show they’re there, and plastic barriers. They’re all spread around up Waites Lane, taking up the road but not indicative of any work being done, or about to be done. Over several weeks, as great personal risk, I’ve detected Harry Lime and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles down in the sewer. Now, loud organ music suggests we have the Phantom of the ruddy Opera in residence – he must have nipped up the Channel Tunnel. May he be the last before rectification is undertaken.

Keith Pollard

Brookfield, Broadway