Church matters: Sunday starts with an 8 am service of Holy Communion at St Peter’s, and continues with Morning Praise at St Andrew’s at 10.30 am.

Christian Aid Fair: This pleasant event will be happening in the village hall from 10 am to12 noon on Saturday, May 9. This year it have a new look for spring, with a variety of craft stalls, home-made sweets, nearly-new clothes, bric-a-brac, books, tombola, raffle, refreshments and home-made cakes. Entry is free. Make a diary note now, as all proceeds go to Christian Aid, a charity always astoundingly well supported in the village. This marks the start of 2015’s Christian Aid Week, which runs from May 10 to16.

Auction of Promises: And while you have your diary open at May, just add the Auction of Promises, which is also on May 9. It’s at the Fairlight Lodge Hotel starting at 7 pm, and gives you another chance to attend this popular event and to bid for days out, restaurant meals, vouchers and much more. There’ll be further details over the next few weeks. As ever, this is being run in aid of St Andrew’s Church.

The Floral Club: recently held their AGM, with excellent attendance by more than two thirds of members being present. The meeting went very well with lots of interaction from the floor. Club Chairman Sheila Benson reported that the club is going from strength to strength with finances much improved following their two fund-raising events held during the year, and a number of new members joining. Afterwards there was a fun event which proved very successful and popular, and this was enjoyed by all. And yes, they did have cake - delicious!

MOPPs: At MOPPs today, Friday April 10, it will be Celia King with some chair-based exercises

And then it’s lunch with sausage, egg and chips, followed by bread and butter pudding. Next Friday, April 17, the entertainment will be by singer Steve Bennett and, in addition, there will be a demonstration by Michelle from Comfort Plus of their Comfort range of mobility and household aids. Lunch next week will consist of cold meat and jacket potato, and upside down pudding for afters.

The Cat & the Canary: Tickets are going for the Fairlight Players’ latest production, a spoof horror comedy guaranteed to give you a smile and a shudder. More senior residents may remember the Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard film. Those tickets are at the Post Office, and they’re still only £6 each. The play runs from Thursday 23 to Saturday 25 April, at 7.30 pm each evening, and with a 2.30 pm Saturday matinee too.

An important Fairfest Dance: Coming up on Friday, May 1 from 7.30 to 11 pm in the village hall, the highly regarded Kytes will be entertaining the dancers, with all proceeds going to support Stage 3 of the Save the Village campaign. The £8.50 tickets are available from the Post Office, or by calling Jennifer Annetts on 812476. All proceeds go towards Stage 3 of the Cliff Preservation scheme. You get a dance, a bar and a raffle for your money, plus the added advantage of contributing to an invaluable cause. People higher up the grant tree are always suitably impressed when local money and commitment is shown, and projects are not mere begging bowls.

You might expect numbers from The Coasters, the Beach Boys and, of course, Sir Cliff. Should you request ‘Riptide’ or ‘Slip, Sliding Away’, you can expect to be banished from the village. Meanwhile, we should all learn and rehearse a new village theme song – ‘The tide is high but I’m holding on.’

The Speakers Corner: have what I suppose is technically their first AGM on Wednesday next, April 15, in the village hall at 2.30 pm. It’s not really a first, as they had many in their former guise as the Fairlight Literary Society, but as was the case in those days, too, the Members Tea will follow the business meeting.

The Wine and Social Club: The Club’s AGM will be on Monday next, April 13 starting at 7.30 pm (not 7 am, as has appeared elsewhere!) The meeting will be followed by a new style quiz, organised, as usual, by Chairman Frank James.

Shopping Forecast: On the Village Shop front, three newcomers to the Management Committee – Kath Barron, Karen Draper and Roland Friday – have decided to not continue with the project.

The share purchase side of the scheme is picking up again, and you now have until May 31 to get on board. If you are not able to get to the Post Office and make your payment there, please send a cheque instead. Visit the Fairlight Village Shop website, and it will tell you how and where. The idea of making a payment on line has not been set up, and a cheque (remember them?) is the best way to go.

The outcome of the team’s Stage 2 grant submission is not known as yet, although their adviser has been able to track down a pair of further grants for which the project could also be in contention.

It is a pity that more people in the community do not feel able to commit some of their time to this early stage of the project, when the early cut and thrust is bound to be at its most demanding. No doubt once the dust settles and the scheme is fully up and running, those demands will become easier. Teething troubles always end in smiles!

Remembrance of War: You will no doubt recall the highly successful evening held on the theme of WWI last year at St. Andrew’s Church. It is now proposed that the church, together with the local branch of the Royal British Legion, will hold a similar celebration on Saturday, September 5 70 years after the end of the Second World War. People who served in that massive conflict are being sought to see if they would consider contributing their story. Stories, which should be brief, would be appreciated concerning certain battles and events, such as El Alamein; the Battle of the Atlantic; the Battle for Kohima; the Holocaust. If anyone has such a story to tell but feels unable to present it themselves, there are people who would present it on their behalf at the event. If you know of anyone to whom this might apply, please contact John and Margaret Pulfer on 814866, or by email to margaret.pulfer@btinternet.com

Flicks in the Village: A fortnight later than usual, Flicks is on Thursday, April 16 this time round. They will be showing The Hundred Foot Journey, a gastronomic feel-good treat starring Helen Mirren and a sparkling cast. You know the drill, doors open at 7 for a 7.30 pm start at Pett Village Hall.

Go hikin’ for lichens: In the Country Park tomorrow, Saturday. April 11 from 10.30 am to 12.30 pm. You meet at the Milking Parlour, Place Farm, Barley Lane, which is off the Fairlight Road. The Friends of HCPNR are organising a talk about these fascinating organisms, given by local naturalist, Keith Palmer, followed by a short walk in the nature reserve. The charge is £2, free to Friends of HCPNR. Booking is essential for this event, and for booking and more information you should call Jill Howell on 815256 or visit the Friends’ website, friendsofhastingscountrypark.org Sorry, no dogs. Toilets are available! Better get your skates, no – boots, on quickly!

Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow: I’ve got Victor Sylvester Broadband in Broadway, but without the quick, quick bit. With some in the village getting BT seventy times better speed than I do, it seems about time BT got their act together. I’m actually getting on one sixteenth of the speed for which I pay, and it’s only marginally quicker than a carrier pigeon.

A surplus? Eggs-actly: Go into any of our major supermarkets towards the end of the Easter break, and you’d see yards of shelving packed five feet high with unsold Easter eggs, some of them exorbitantly pricey. Where do they all go for the summer?

The Battle of Hustings: It’s that time in the political cycle again. You go out for a bit of shopping, and then have the devil’s own job getting back in through your own front door. You need a mini snow plough to cut a path through all the unsolicited election leaflets and brochures, with their probably worthless pleas, promises and pledges. A useless waste of trees, or a wood, or perhaps a small forest? No, not a waste at all. Carefully placed, they’ll light a decent bonfire or two. Or you could shred them and compost them with straw and grass, when they will make an excellent substitute for horse manure. Not that there will actually be any of that substance in the mix. However, bull’s manure is another matter.

Keith Pollard

Brookfield, Broadway