CATS AND CUCUMBERS: You may all know this, but I had no idea that cats are afraid of cucumbers, and not just afraid, but terrified. This week my grandson showed me videos on his phone of cats running amok if you put a whole cucumber behind them on the floor while they sleep or eat, catching them unawares. I had to Google it for an explanation, and it was so, they react badly to cucumbers. I'm not going to try it on my cats because it seems cruel. Their reaction on these videos was one of terror. According to Google they may see it as a snake or other predator. Just a bit of trivia for you. It has nothing whatever to do with the Village Voice, but it is one of life's little conundrums I thought I'd share!

Friday, 20th April 2018, 6:52 am
Updated Friday, 20th April 2018, 6:56 am

A SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNION: There is a service of Holy Communion this Sunday, at Iden Parish Church, at 9.30am.

WELL DONE IDEN PLAYERS: Following their successful sea voyage last year, Iden Players turned their attention onto the eternal subject of our climate with an entertainment in the Village Hall for two performances on Saturday 14 April, suitably called “What Ever the Weather”. This was a series of songs and sketches which took us through the four seasons and helped to take our minds off the Beast from the East and the very wet state presently of our gardens and fields.

Once again Teresa Cooper rallied her willing band of players and helpers with her tremendous hard work and inspiration which produced a wonderful show for everyone attending over the two performances and who clearly enjoyed and appreciated such an ingenious happening

We started off with summer and sunshine with two very relevant songs and a singalong to remember the sewage works outside the village last August, although thankfully now a disruption we would prefer to forget!

In keeping up with the trend and dominance of reality television in our lives, the Iden players were not to be outdone and produced their own for really posh people entitled “The Only way Out is Iden- on ice” Here we had three “contestants” in the garden being put through their paces and given the task of reading the local news, although they were the worse for drink.

Autumn soon followed, with rain songs and Alan Riley very appropriately recited a monologue about Noah’s Ark. Naturally, the first half ended with “Singing in the Rain” complete with an assortment of raincoats and umbrellas.

Moving on to the second half we were flung into the bleakest winter with snow, more appropriate songs, a very realistic Winter Wonderland Snowman and naturally a snowball fight with a bird and dormouse sheltering from the cold.

Spring arrived, although interrupted by a bee who thought it was still in last year’s concert. More seasonal music and a park bench conversation between an attractive young lady and an aged gentleman about how easily anyone can get the wrong end of a tennis racket

The Concert ended with a very lively Morris Dance and the whole ensemble singing “I’m for Ever Blowing Bubbles” complete with a machine that sent them into the audience

Special thanks must go to Mike Lovick who not only was one of the Stage Managers but very bravely and alas unsuccessfully attempted the “Winter of Discontent” speech and to John Harrison, who went from plumbing new depths with a song about drains to failing to finish his song “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” - we are grateful particularly to the audience for putting him out of our misery!

Teresa not only produced the show, but she also made the set and provided the props and costumes (particularly stunning for the Morris Dance sequence) and supervised the choreography- a real tour de force which everyone so much appreciates.

The show was directed by Helen Gray and Susannah Miller provided the music and during the past weeks kept the performers busy with rehearsals

A very big thank you to all who took part and helped back stage and front. We are especially grateful to Ian who kept everyone supplied with refreshments during the past few months and the performances and a huge round of applause to Dolly the Sheep who was back on the stage from her retirement home after a ten year absence.

As usual raffles took place during each show with proceeds going to St Michael’s House and the Friends of Iden Church

In short, well done to everyone concerned for once again brightening our lives. Thankfully the weather on the day came out in sympathy after weeks of cold and wet.

[Many thanks to Michael Miller for this review]

IDEN BOWLS CLUB OPENS FOR ANOTHER SEASON: Iden Bowls club welcomes new members, so if anyone wishes to join, please contact Vicki Britton [telephone 01797 280568] The season has opened, and the club offers not only great bowls, but a friendly social group which continue their revelry throughout the winter with meals out and various events which keep the fun flowing. Anyone can join throughout the area, whether you live in Iden or not.

THANK YOU DOREEN: Iden members of Beckley Short Mat Bowls Club attended a sumptuous meal and prize-giving at the ‘ Brick Wall Hotel’ , Sedlescombe last week. This event is arranged each year by Doreen Rolles, who manages to make everyone feel welcome and special.

There are a considerable amount of members, all of whom dressed up in a party mood, and the event was thoroughly enjoyed by all.

PRETTY NAME, PRETTY TREE: Recently I heard that someone had called their baby Blossom, which struck me as so pretty, a name going back in time. Iden’s blossom is out at last, coloured pink and white like marshmallows and the fresh new leaves are following suit. The Magnolias are in bud too. All I can say is ‘thank heavens’. It seems we’ve waited ages for this parade of spring offerings. Isn’t it nice to drive or walk past these paragons which are going to lead us by the hand and drop us off in Summer.

DINING BY DEGREES: Do you remember the thrill of being taken as a child to various eateries? It was such a part of growing up wasn’t it? This week we took my grandchildren out to a proper afternoon tea, with a tiered cake plate, scones and jam, assorted cakes and sandwiches cut like soldiers. I hoped that they would remember it, because remembering various dining experiences is recollecting a lifetime. I remember being a new mum, when we were struggling with a mortgage. Fine dining was a pipe dream, but on rare occasions I went with a friend, another new mother, and we would treat ourselves to a Wimpy and chips. It wasn’t the height of decadence, but it was a break, a daring pull on our already meagre purse strings, and it represents a memory of new motherhood .I really don’t care where I go to eat, be it a humble burger, a posh restaurant or coffee and a muffin, it’s just nice to be waited on, to listen to the low mumblings of other diners, and take in the décor and the ambiance .I remember going several times to a local Greek restaurant where they smashed plates and the waiters clowned around throughout the meal. It was a mad, crazy place but my kids loved it. If you asked for more bread they would say you were a trouble-maker and make you sit outside on the grass. We used to take my Canadian relatives to Harrods for breakfast as it so represented London. A full English, or a continental were served at a table with a vast, heavily-textured white cloth that billowed down like clean washing .It was so much more perfect than my own slap-happy breakfasts ,and it fuelled our trip to Oxford Street. Eating out is much more than just feeding our faces and paying the bill. When you think about it, it’s a potential trip down memory lane!

CONTACT ME: If anyone has anything to add to the Village Voice, please ring Gill Griffin [telephone 01797 280311]