Now for something completely different: Chapter 2

“As I steadied myself in the darkened street there was an apparition filling my head with a nonsense that belonged in the dustbin of the illogical. Well, to this mere mortal, my eyes and ears came to that conclusion at the time. I could have sworn I heard a voice say “those idiot ….. I told them …. not mist”. I could not make out all the words that were said as the voice was low and quiet. There was also a faint animal smell, like a herd of horses or some such beast of burden. It almost had a farmyard aroma, not unpleasant, just earthy.

Then, without any prior warning, there was a streak of white. Less than a millisecond of intense luminescence. As I blinked, all had vanished. Had it passed by me, over me, around me? I could not tell. Was it travelling at the speed of light? Could that be the only explanation? Its passing had completely cleared the mist, the cold, the damp.

The night darkened street was now returned to normality. The impending holiday ornaments were intact and glowing as their owners had intended. People could be seen in the distance hurrying here and there. Had they seen it too? Were they as mystified as myself? The trouble was that I could not ask in case I made a fool of myself. What would I say - “Hey,excuse me did you just see that apparition? You know the one with the lights and mist and things?”. I don’t think so. I am sure they would look at me as though I was an alien, a Martian, a traveller from a distant galaxy.

What is needed to resolve this conundrum is a good old dose of “rational thinking”. Some of my friends and acquaintances may question my ability to even spell the words let alone think along those lines. However, I know I can find the answer. So where shall I start?”

To be continued.

Remember any budding authors in the village or surrounding areas, you can still write a chapter in serial form leading up to Christmas. You can add to the storyline for next week, with the editor of this column (Maurice Holmes) selecting one from all the entries sent to the email address that follows. The number of words can range between 150 to 200. Remember it is an on-going story and should last about 8 to 10 weeks and to do that each week must have a cliff-hanger of an ending. Just a bit of fun leading up to Christmas. So get your grey cells working and think of the next chapter. The Battle Observer comes out on Friday so entries must be received by the Monday morning to be sure of being printed the following week. Age is not a barrier as is open to all.

East Sussex Hearing Resource Centre: This is a registered charity working in partnership with Adult Social Care to provide a no charge mobile information and advice service for Deaf, deafened and hard of hearing people living in East Sussex. The vehicle, which is funded by the Big Lottery, is equipped to offer demonstrations of assistive equipment and hearing screening tests (if time permits).

The mobile unit will be visiting Battle on Thursday 5th November 2015, and will be in Market Square from 10.30am – 3.30pm.

The bus is accessible to wheelchair users and representatives from both the East Sussex Hearing Resource Centre and Adult Social Care will be available to provide individual information and advice on all aspects of hearing loss.

For further information please contact East Sussex Hearing Resource Centre, Tel: 01323 722505 (voice/text/fax) e-mail:

Mobile Library: With the arrival of the mobile library on 29th September, we were able to establish the reason for the non-appearance of this bastion of the community on 8 September. The librarian Ella, was able to clarify that a replacement van was anticipated, to coincide with maintenance tasks on the normal vehicle. Unfortunately, the replacement got engrossed in the adventures of “Herbie” and turning up at the council was forgotten. Ella apologised and hoped that it did not inconvenience too many of her regular customers.

Contact: If you have any stories or articles of interest that will give our readership a reason to buy the paper please contact me on 07957588172 or via email at

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