Please curb the chat

I’ve found the biggest culprits being plumbers and taxi drivers. From the minute they arrive, they don’t stop talking!

During a recent taxi journey to Heathrow, I had my driver’s life story, the broken marriage, the problem daughter, the lazy ex-wife and the diabetic rival driver, and finishing with the bowel habits of his many pets.

One problem plumber we nicknamed ‘Tony Twice’ simply because he talked so much the first day he had to come back a second time to finish the work.

Why, because something has happened to them, do they think it is of any interest to anyone else?

Advice to customers: never pay by the hour and never offer refreshments as it will involve long breaks in your kitchen and more tales.

Advice to tradesmen and drivers: belt up and shut up.

Advice to plumbers: turn up (on time) and turn off.

I’m exhausted.

I Hampton

The Byways,

Bracklesham Bay